Thursday’s 13—Stratford’s Saucy Sonneteer

As easy as A, B, C . . . from HA

The old saying of “He’s so eloquent, he can tell someone to go to Hell and make them look forward to the trip” has always been the Benschmark of a silver-tongued devil. The leader of silver-tongued devils, William Shakespeare, was a master at the art of insults.

The list below was borrowed (and edited) from Buzzfeed. I’ve left off some to achieve the necessary 13 for today’s blog. I’ve also left out the cats. In the original article, every insult has an appropriate feline. Click on this link to see the entire article.

  1. Thou cream-faced loon—Macbeth
  2. Thou art as loathsome as a toad—Titus Andronicus
  3. I do desire we be better strangers—As You Like It
  4. You scullion. You rampalian. You fustilarian. I’ll tickle your catastrophe.—Henry IV Part Two
  5. There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.—Henry IV, Part One
  6. Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.—King Lear
  7. Thou art a natural coward without instinct.—Henry IV, Part One
  8. You, minion, are too saucy.—The Two Gentlemen of Verona
  9. Thou art the best of the cut-throats.—Macbeth
  10. A weasel hath not the deal of spleen as thou are toss’d with.—Henry IV, Part One
  11. Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.—All’s Well that Ends Well
  12. Thou leather-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch.—Henry IV, Part One
  13. Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch.—King Lear

I have learned much sitting at the feet of the Master.

See you day-after-tomorrow for Saturday Softcover.


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