EASY AS A, B, C . . . from BB
I know Mark Twain was fond of tweaking politicians and self-righteous church-goers, so that got me to wondering about some of his other quotes. Other? Well, maybe . . . maybe not:
- I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
- In Statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
- Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
- It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.
- Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain’t that a big enough majority in any town?
- It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
- It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.
- In Boston, they ask, How much does he know? In New York, How much is he worth? In Philadelphia, Who were his parents?
- The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
- Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.
- There warn’t anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn’t any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it’s cool. If you notice, most folks don’t go to church only when they’ve got to; but a hog is different.
- Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. (Inscription beneath [Twain’s] bust in the Hall of Fame.
- GO VOTE ANYWAY ! ! ! (Not attributed to Mark Twain!)
Found in Bartlett, John. Familiar Quotations. Boston: Little, Brown and Co., 1955.
See you day-after-tomorrow for “Saturday’s Softcover”